Teach Them Well (Published to Plymouth Patch on March 22, 2011)

And let them lead the way

If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job.  ~ Donald D. Quinn

That there sums up exactly why I am not a teacher. Me, I’d be the lady on the news; the one who duct tapes kids to chairs. Yeah, not so good with the patience. I envy those that have the skill and desire to teach children. The people that can look into young faces and see the potential; the ones that can coax creativity and passion from our kids.

My experience in school was defined by strife and budget cuts, massive teacher layoffs and over-crowding. I went to public school in Boston during busing and the passage of Prop 2-1/2. Yeah, not a fun time to be trying to get an education.

Contrast that with the experience my children are having in Plymouth. It is worlds apart. By pure chance, we bought a house in the Cold Spring Elementary School district. An amazing school that housed about 200 students. Ideal. Half way through Dylan’s first year we knew the principal by name and almost all the teachers as well. I had the honor of serving on the school council and the PTO. I volunteered in the school and raised money for extras. It was really a tremendous place and my children benefited by being a part of it. I believe that the teachers at Cold Spring prepared both of my children for middle school and beyond.

The majority of teachers work hard. Really they do. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. I’ve had it benefit both of my kids. More than once. What I don’t understand is the constant attack on the profession of teaching and the near constant character attacks on those who teach. Seriously. I’d be duct taping some grown-ups to chairs if I were a teacher. Keep calling me lazy and unproductive. Yeah, that’s going be a problem.

Spend some time in a class room. Reading, volunteering, observing. Call your  local school and ask for a tour. Actually read the curriculum and see how much has to be taught because of our obsession with measurability. How do you measure knowledge? How do you measure creative thinking? How do you measure self-esteem?

What has happened to us, as a nation, that we find it acceptable to blame the middle-class for all our problems? How come every time I turn on the news, teachers are under attack? These are our neighbors, our friends, our families. The ones we entrust our children too. Are all our budget and fiscal problems really caused by teachers and other public employees? I find that hard to believe. No, wait, I refuse to believe that. Not with what I’ve seen and experienced.

Know what I think? I think we should give them more leeway and creativity in the classroom. I think they should teach children to think critically. Know what else I think? I think we should pay teachers more not less.

Anyone out there that believes that their taxes will be permanently reduced by dismantling the collective bargaining power of teachers and other unionized public employees – call me. I have a bridge for sale, cheap!

Toddlers and Teens (published to Plymouth Patch on February 21, 2011)

Like déjà vu all over again

Parenting, a definition: "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."  ~ Dr. Seuss

When I was a new parent, I received loads of advice and words of wisdom from well-meaning friends and family. Occasionally, I would get a look that practically screamed: “Why? Why did you do it? You have no idea what lies ahead!” These poor embattled souls, I thought, what type of hell ruled their lives? The answer: teenagers. Every single person that gave me that look had teenagers.

I have teenagers now. One literal and one figurative. And they are doing their best to stymie even my most advanced parenting moves. Quite frankly, I’ve been outwitted. By teenagers. Ya’ll should revoke my mommy card. Seriously.

My parenting had completely devolved into yelling, pointing, and the occasional random profanity. (Emma's note: occasional is not the correct word, try all the time.) My days started with shouts and threats; it ended the same way. I was losing sleep and sanity.

It hit me one day. The one piece of advice that I had kept in the back of my mind. The one bit that made me go "hmmm." It was from a guy I worked with years ago, his name lost to me. He had teenagers, I had toddlers. He told me that they are not all that different. Both toddler and teenager go through massive physical and emotional changes in a small amount of time. As I thought more about that, I realized that he was right. They are both awkward and clumsy. They don’t have real control over their physical beings or their emotions. Almost everyone finds toddlers adorable and amusing but almost no one thinks the same of teenagers.

I started looking for the amazing in teenagers. It’s not easy. They are stubborn critters but I’m nothing if not persistent, and I love a challenge. I started small. Assessing the positives: smart, caring, funny. I can work with that! What are the immediate challenges: school, socializing, sports. Manageable issues. Now comes the hard part. Reining me in. Reminding myself that I need more restraint and self-control. I need to model the behavior I wish them to emulate. You know, practice what you preach, live what you mean.

Teens, when you sweep away all the angst and agony, are special. They bring such an amazing point-of-view to the world. They are far more creative than destructive. They are, for all its cliché-ness, the future. They are fearless. We are responsible for them; we are their guides. They need us to help them keep their wonder at the same time trying to anchor them to reality. It’s hard. Harder than I thought.

I expect that my days of yelling, random pointing, and sporadic profanity are not over. Not even close. They are teenagers after all, the most vexing of all creatures. And I don’t always have the patience, really, that parenting requires. Know what the weak link in all this is? Me. Not them. They’ll be adults someday. Whether I parent them effectively or not, only time will tell. I like to say that I started with great kids and I’m trying my best not to mess them up.

Wish me luck!

Are You Kidding Me?

I started the "Are You Kidding Me?" columns in February of 2011 when I started writing for Plymouth Patch. Since Patch will be taking some of their sites off-line I wanted a "safe" place to archive all that work.